Gay Daniel and Bobby are kaput.

Over.

Done with.

Finito.

El kaputo.

Seems over the big holiday weekend Gay Daniel got a big ol’ bellyful of ungrateful boyfriend and decided he was no longer interested in working 2 jobs to support a ‘roid raging gymrat who didn’t have the decency to show an ounce of gratitude or say thank you (and who, quote, “had me on a short leash and was too far up my ass”). So he showed him the door and then called and quit his job at Long John Silver’s.

The most shocking part of the entire conversation?

The huge smile on G.D.’s face and the total absence of tears as he shared his story.

Good for you, Gay Daniel.

“You look down today, Dirk.”

“Nope, just thinking.”

“Personal stuff?”

“Something like that.”

“Oh.”

Cue Gay Daniel taking a moment before a lightbulb goes off over his head.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Cue Gay Daniel looking all around before leaning in conspiratorially.

“Is yours giving you trouble too?”

Cue Dirk delivering the slow blink.

“I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before. Boy-frieeeeeeeNNNNNNNNNNds — they can be such a handful, huh?”*

Oh, Gay Daniel — you truly are sharp as a tack.
__________

*NOTE: the second syllable of boyfriends should be sung in a high voice.