A brief recap of my weekend:

~ Tristan woke me up at 4:45am Saturday to catch our train.

~ Tristan woke me again at 4:50am.

~ And at 4:55am.

~ 5am. 5:05am. 

~ I got up at 5:15am.

~ We took a cab to our hotel.

~ We checked in and I discovered my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket in the cab that had taken us to our hotel.

~ I used Tristan’s phone to call my phone and the cab driver answered and actually returned the fucking thing.

~ I got Skottie Young to sign my WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ graphic novel adaptation.

~ We went to the Harry Potter Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.

~ The train ride home had me having to endure this directly across from me on the train ride home:

~ …while the guy in front of him laying on his back, hacking up his lungs and NOT COVERING HIS FUCKING MOUTH…

~ …which led to me putting my hooded jacket on backwards and looking like this on the way home:

~ Later, after waking up from my “thank God it’s over nap” I had a sore throat and felt like shit, as did Tristan who was pissy and bratty and said he had no interest in watching the adorable Neil Patrick Harris host the Emmys and stomped off to bed so I watched and commented along with Debs over at Her Rabid Glow.

And what did you do this weekend?

After a long day at Chicago Comic-Con, I took The Fella out for dinner Saturday night and figured I’d use the opportunity to pick his brain for some potential Christmas gift ideas…

Dirk: Did you see anything today that you couldn’t live without?
Tristan: You.
Dirk: Nah, not really. Did you?
Tristan (laughing): I wasn’t asking; I was replying.

Look for pics and shit next week.

Now, you know my plans for the weekend — what are yours?

Geoff Johns is writing the treatment for a FLASH movie. And serving as a producer.

Oh.

My.

God.

The Flash.

Done right.

Excuse me while I go rub another one out.

I have a lot on my mind so what say we just hit the bullet points today?

~ I have recently discovered outQ! on Sirius/XM Radio/whatever it’s called these days and while the idea of gay radio is one I find appealing, I muct say that driving to work and listening to “Morning Jolt with Larry Flick and Keith Price” really makes me blanch. It’s never a good sign when the deejays are laughing that hard at their own “comedic” material (and based on said material, I’m reasonably sure they are the only ones laughing at all). I’m thinking “Mr. Mancuso in the Morning with Dirk Mancuso and his trusty side sidekick Mr. Ed” with my blogroll as my out in the field correspondents. Call me, outQ! — let’s make this happen.

~ KNOTS LANDING – Season 2 hits dvd today and I am so hard my dick could cut glass.

The intrigue! The romance! The beginning of the end for that stiff Sid Fairgate (let’s face it, Mac was Karen’s soulmate in every way)!  And the introduction of series vixen — and Val’s archnemesis – Abby Fairgate Cunningham Ewing Sumner!

~ I hate when I have to take a shit at work. Most times I will just hold it in — like I do on vacation — but sometimes I have to submit. Ugh.

~ If you aren’t watching DOLLHOUSE, shame on you.  It’s smart, fun and features the gorgeous Eliza Dushku whose hair is fucking gorgeous. I would love to brush it for her while we talk about boys and eat pizza and giggle all night long. (Note to Keri Russell and Jennifer Aniston: the previous statement does not in any way, shape, or form diminish my desire to brush your respective hairs while we talk about boys and eat pizza and giggle all night long — I’m thinking maybe a slumber party.)

~ After weeks of anguish and much cursing, I managed to find all the stock statements I needed and my taxes are complete. And with 24 hours to spare. You go, Dirk!

~ Barry Allen is back — and Geoff Johns is writing his book! That’s right, the Scarlet Speedster, the man who gave his life to save the Multiverse, is making his triumphant comeback and the man responsible for revitalizing the Superman books is in charge.  Way to go, DC!

And just look at the promos!

~ How much am I addicted to THE BIGGEST LOSER?  So much so that I am bouncing from foot to foot and doing the pee-pee dance in eager anticipation of tonight’s makeover show with gay icon Tim Gunn. I am so pulling for Mike or Tara to win. (And thank you Laura for sending Simone home last week — if only it could’ve been Phillipe).

~ Octo-mom getting a reality show? What? The story of a single mother with 14 kids and no way to pay for them so she has to get financial assistance? That’s not a reality show — that’s just a welfare mom with a PR person. And a fucking slap in the face to taxpayers who are having to pay out the ass for irresponsible people like her.

~ THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE made 34 million over the weekend. And Jesus wept.

So tell me…what’s on your mind?

Even whilst on a mini-vay-cay, there is no shortage to the many musings wandering through a certain gay blogger’s mind.  Here are just a few…

~ I’m sporting wood that my beloved FARSCAPE will once again be continuing albeit in comic book form.  John Crighton, Aeryn, Chiana, Rygel, Scorpius — they’re all back!

~ ”When I say Hilshire, you say Farms. Hilshire!  Farms!  Go Meat!”  That shit floats through my fucking head at least 5 or 6 times a day.

~ Oh, Amanda Woodward…I really expected a much more fabulous mug shot. I mean, seriously — this is so Alison Parker.  You know, after her childhood sexual abuse was revealed and she turned to the bottle and eventually wound up in rehab where she hooked up with that NFL player with the sex addiction played by JAG.

~ I know I can’t be the only one who’s gonna be tuning in for 13: FEAR IS REAL on January 7th. Oh please, you know any show with a contestant sporting the tragically missspelled moniker Steffinnie is gonna get my attention.

~ Rumor has it that the first two episodes of Lost -Season 5 are rockin’ awesome.  So’s this pic of Mr Sexy Pants Mathew Fox:

Who would’ve thought he could be just as hawt minus the stubble? 

~ It’s amazing to me how quickly I’ve gotten used to the desktop computer after using Lappy for years. And the strangest thing of all is that I actually prefer the desktop.  I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks after all.

~ No matter how many times I see those Chuck Norris lists, I can’t help but giggle.

Funny shit.

~ The goal this year is to lose that final 20 pounds and get down to my fighting weight.  Of course at my age, I should probably split the difference and aim for 10.

~ And finally, witness the majesty that greeted me upon a recent foray to the cinema:

How moist are my boxers at this very moment?  Try infinity squared.

Have a great day, everybody!

What’s on my mind this Monday morning?  I’m glad you asked…

~ Beyonce as Wonder Woman.  Seriously, Warner Brothers — you fire Joss Whedon from the project and then entertain this idea? With that type of forward (i.e., retarded) thinking, may I suggest Stephen Hawking as Steve Trevor and Harvey Fierstein as Queen Hippolyta?  And of course, you’ll want to have Akiva Goldsman write and Joel Schumacher direct to make the trainwreck complete.

~ Stephen Rader brought my attention to the new WATCHMEN trailer. Sweet. Fetal. Jesus. This is going to rock.  And as always, if you haven’t read the graphic novel — what the fuck are you waiting for?

~ I’m sure it’s just me, but what is it about Barack Obama that has everyone spontaneously orgasming every time his name is mentioned?  I just don’t get it.  And might I suggest we let him get his presidential feet wet before we declare him the new Messiah?

~ Wanda Sykes is gay?  Why didn’t anyone send me the memo?

~ How awesome was the TOP CHEF season premiere?  I love, love, LOVE me some Tom Colicchio and Padma Lakshmi.  (And I’m mad crushin’ on contestant Danny.)

~ Since heterosexual marriage is so sacred, how about we pass a law making it illegal to get a divorce?  You know, to keep it sacred and prevent the institution from getting all sullied and such.

~ I hate that in-touch-with-his-inner-teenage-girl Terence and Sarah went home on last night’s AMAZING RACE.  I really wanted to see eyelidless Tina and whipping boy Ken take a powder.

~ Serena van der Woodsen.  Sorry — I just love saying that name.

~ How adorable is Tucker?

~ Limited edition Jello brand Classic Turtle pudding fucking rocks.

Well, that’s about it.  (Yeah, I know — I’m just all kinds of deep and shit.)

So, what’s on your minds today…?

Wednesdays mean one thing to The Fella and me: new comics.  

Every week we trudge to the local comic shop to pick up our four color goodies and debate the pay-offs — if any – in Brian Michael Bendis’ over-hyped and failing to deliver SECRET INVASION mini-series, then pick up dinner and head back to my place for PUSHING DAISIES and the Bravo reality line-up.

As usual, we entered the shop, greeted Corey the bear-ish (gay) manager, picked up our bags of comics (like all good comic geeks we “subscribe” to our favorites and pay in advance so that when we go in they are already put aside and waiting for us), then walked across the street to our other Wednesday tradition, Ye Olde Bread Factory for turkey sandwiches and hot soup.

While waiting for our order, I looked at the week’s worth of goodies. SPIKE: AFTER THE FALL #4. (Hooray!) ASTONISHING X-MEN – GHOST BOXES #1. (For my money, Warren Ellis is proving to be a lackluster  – i.e., all talk and no action or character development — replacement for Joss Whedon but any time Alan Davis provides the artwork, I’m there.) SUPERMAN: NEW KRYPTON SPECIAL. (This may prove to be THE Superman story of the decade.  Cutie Geoff Johns can pretty much do no wrong in my book, but Gary Frank’s art is stiff at best and he insists on drawing Clark/Supes in Christopher Reeve’s likeness which bugs the hell out of me since I think Clark/Supes should be the epitome of handsome and Reeve was far from it in my opinion.)  ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN ANNUAL #3. (In spite of his misguided decision to kill off the Ultimate universe Gwen Stacy, Brian Michael Bendis still delivers the best Spiderman book currently being published. Unfortunately, this issue was not one of his finer efforts. The whole “should Pete and MJ fuck?” storyline was kind of pointless since a) they’re 15 in the Ultimate universe and b) they decided not to, so why waste my time unless you’re going to knock up MJ and do a teen pregnancy story in which the slutty redhead debates aborting the spider-mutant gestating in her.)

As I flipped through the titles, it suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t see the ULTIMATE CAPTAIN AMERICA ANNUAL #1.  **GASP** Could it be? Had I forgotten to pre-order it?

Well butter my ass and call it a biscuit, it seemed as though I had.  Of course, there was only one recourse.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” I told Tristan as I handed him my comics and headed for the door.  ”I missed a title…”

Corey was reading a magazine when I re-entered the shop.  ”Forget something?”

“Yeah — ULTIMATE CAPTAIN AMERICA ANNUAL. Don’t wanna miss anything important with ULTIMATUM coming up,” I replied, snatching up the last copy and walking over to the register.

“So are you guys a couple now?”  

Wow. Up until that moment it honestly hadn’t occurred to me that other people would even notice that Tristan and I go places together regularly.

“You come in together every week…and you dress alike.”

Ugh.  The navy blue hoodies.  I had bought a fleece lined one at Target a week or so ago and wore it over to Tristan’s only to have him greet me at the door in an almost identical one. Something neither of us noticed until we were about a block from the comic shop.  ”Oh if we didn’t notice, who else will?” we had laughed. 

Who else?  Um, “dominant bear seeking submissive cub” types on gay.com who push comic books in their spare time, maybe?

“Yeah — the hoodie thing was a fluke today.  Trust me, there will be no matching ensemble encores.”

Corey laughed.  ”So?  Are you two a couple?”

I pondered his question. 

“I think you should ask Tristan that one,” I finally replied.  ”Preferably when I’m in earshot.”

Looks like that conversation I’m working on in my head for Friday is definitely in order…

Hey guys!  My ADD is kicking in big time today plus I’ve got a lot to do to get ready for an extended weekend getaway with The Fella, so it’s another hot, steaming bowl of random thoughts…

~ Is anyone else rooting for AMAZING RACE’s marriage in crisis couple Ken and Tina to hurry up and be eliminated? I am the last person to advocate infidelity, but God help me if I don’t see why Ken strayed. (And I’m guessing he secretly loved getting to don those tights and compete in that Mexican wrestling roadblock — it was probably the first time he’s been allowed to wear something approximating pants in years.)

~ Speaking of reality show contestants, is there currently anyone more full of himself or cringe inducing than TOP DESIGN’s Eddie, he of the “I work for Martha Stewart” mantra?  And when he called iconic potter and TOP DESIGN judge Jonathon Adler an elf — Oh. My. God.  Please let this train wreck make it to the finale.

~ Maybe it’s The Fella or maybe I’m just finally growing up (at 42), but I find myself drifting more and more away from the Disney Princess pillowcases and instead toward matching sheet sets.  (When it comes to the extra pillows, however, the superhero pillowcases are here to stay since The Fella is mad about them as well.)

~ I keep having these weird dreams where I go to the bank (and the bookstore and the comic shop and the movies) naked and totally try to pretend I’m not.  What the fuck is that all about anyway?

~ In the new issue of ITALIAN VANITY FAIR, Angelina Jolie is quoted as saying “When we first met I already had a child. We didn’t live together and we adopted Zahara. Usually people fall in love and and everything revolves around people getting married. Children are an afterthought.” I think what she really meant was “When we first met I already had a child…and HE WAS MARRIED” and “Children are an afterthought…LIKE GETTING DIVORCED FROM BELOVED NATIONAL TREASURE JENNIFER ANISTON BEFORE YOU GET A GIRLFRIEND.”

~ I’ve recommended it before, but I’m going to do so again:  If you haven’t read THE WATCHMEN, get off your lazy ass and obtain a copy.  There’s a reason TIME MAGAZINE listed it among its 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present, calling it “A work of ruthless psychological realism, it’s a landmark in the graphic novel medium. It would be a masterpiece in any.”

~ Once again, I am having trouble commenting on blogs that are not WordPress.  Especially those ones that use Atom or Haloscan or whatnot.  Suffice it to say this is pissing me off greatly.

~ AC/DC has a new album.  And it’s available exclusively at Wal*mart.  Is it just me or is this the worst pairing since peanut butter and mayonaise?

~ And finally, just a reminder that time is running out to get your pumpkin pics to me for Carvathon 2008, as well as your questions for MAILBAG MONDAY and ASK MIA.  The latter has received nary a request for romantical type advice much to Miss Mia’s dismay.  Send them to dirk.mancuso@gmail.com with the appropriate topic in the subject line.  I shall look forward to an overflowing mailbox upon my return home.

Peace out and have a tres groovy weekend y’all!

They were already in line when I  arrived, a rag-tag group of husky, unshaven stereotypical comic book geeks clad in superhero tees and cut off knee-length camouflage shorts, shouting over one another to be heard.

Geek#1:  Hottest chick in the Marvel universe?

Geek#2:  No contest — Emma Frost!

Geek#3:  Black Widow!

Geek#4:  Mary Jane!

Geek#1:  Wanda Maximoff!  The Scarlet Witch rules.

Geek#5:  Famke Janssen!

***Cue the geek version of the record scratch***

Geek#1:  Dude, Famke Janssen is real…

Geek#5:  Yeah, but she was the Phoenix!

Geek#1:  No, she was Jean Grey…she only manifested her Phoenix abilities in X3.

Geek#5:  Doesn’t matter — she was Jean.  Jean is in the Marvel universe, so Famke counts.

Geek#1:  Dude, the movies are not part of accepted continuity — they’re an alternate timeline at best…

Geek#3 (groaning):  X3…please don’t bring up the Ratner fiasco on this night when we’re here for Marvel done right.

Geek#1:  Plus, she’s real, man — NOT a comic.

As I stood there watching Geek#5’s face screwed up in intense thought as he struggled to process the reasoning behind Ms. Janssen’s disqualification from the competition, I knew with great certainty that none of these guys had ever been within 100 feet of a real female.

Or the deodorant aisle.

(And for those who are interested in such things, they were all wrong — Gwen Stacy is, was, and always will be the hottest chick in the Marvel Universe.)