Once again, I must ask WHO takes a shit like this and not only doesn’t flush, but uses not a shred of toilet paper?

It looks like a scene from THE GODFATHER. I feel like I need to call in a goddamn CSI expert to study the spatter pattern and help determine who’s rectum sandblasted that mess all over the commode. I mean just look at it: 

If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’d wandered into a high school lavatory where the homecoming queen just miscarried between Maroon 5 and the Rihanna mega-mix. What does this guy’s body do to his food intake to expel that soft glob of meatloaf-y looking nastiness? And the aroma! Oy. Something tells me it’s the same individual responsible for this disaster a few weeks earlier:

Is this guy’s sphincter at a weird angle? Was he born with a birth defect? Is this the result of too much butt-lovin’? How does he keep from blowing a shit streak up the back of his shirt? And is he related to this guy? Inquiring minds want to know.

Something tells me when I track this sick fucker down, he’ll also be the one responsible for throwing his goddamn Almond Snickers wrappers in the urinals.

Bastard.