Tristan is heading home Wednesday morning so we’re having dinner and exchanging gifts tonight.
Am I nervous?
Not really.
“What’s that?” I hear some of you asking, “what happened to the crazed i-Pod purchasing faggot from last week who didn’t even know how to sign a fucking Christmas card?”
Nothing happened.
Okay, that’s a total lie. But you’re sworn to secrecy if I tell you. Come closer — I’m not shouting this. Sheesh. Okay, I was over at his place the other night and while he was in the bathroom, I was watching it sleet from his 6th floor window and just happened to notice (alright, I snooped – cut a fag some slack, already! Do you want to hear this or not?) a present or five under the tree for me.
Yep — you read that right: five.
Now in all honesty, it’s not about the number of gifts I saw. It’s the fact that he took the time to find me five gifts.
I think that could be an indication he sees this as more than just a dalliance.
Or not.
But more importantly how were they wrapped? Did it look like a MAN wrapped them or a nancy gurl? Could all five items have come from the bargain bin at Costco? Remember it is the thought that counts. The thought that counts. The thought that counts. Merry, merry Dirk, have fun.
Dirk says: …they were wrapped beautifully in red and silver metallic paper with matching gift tags. And I don’t care if they have lint in them — I’m just blown away he’d go to the trouble. (Besides, I already bought LOST – SEASON 4 and THE HOUSE BUNNY so I’ve already got everything I need for Christmas!)
By: Ed on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 7:29 am
box 1= Saran wrap
Box 2= wrist cuffs
Box 3 = flogger…
Dirk says: …oh, cb — did you take The Fella shopping with you? ‘Cause I’m gonna owe you all kinds of big time if you did…
By: cb on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 8:28 am
You go, Dirk!! You definitely deserve some happiness and I’m so glad this is going well for you. You MUST post tomorrow and give us all the details of tonight’s happenings. You know we’ll be waiting with baited breath.
Dirk says: …maybe I will or maybe I will.
By: Danielle on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 9:08 am
“or not”
That’s our Dirk! Always look on the dark side of life! Don’t ever change, pussycat…
Dirk says: …Tristan is pretty rockin’ awesome, but he’s still a man…hence the guarded optimism.
By: Aaron on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 9:13 am
Wow- 5 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You must be some specialness, Dirk.
Remember to be lady like when you’re unwrapping them. I usually start with the tape, using my fingernail to lift each carefully placed and concealed piece, then S L O W L Y unroll the wrapping paper, being careful not to wrinkle it as if you intend to use it in the future. Then you go on tape patrol again, discretely using a fingernail to slit each piece holding the box closed. Then the top comes off and you S L O W L Y pick out each individual sheet of tissue paper, carefully folding each one as if you intend to use it again along with the previously carefully folded piece of wrapping paper. Oh, have you read the gift card or attached card, yet?? No?? This would be a good time to dally over that a minute or two as well. Now, where were you? Oh yes, so you’ve finally got all but one piece of tissue paper left, so it’s time to start the guessing game. Ask….Oh, what is it…….is it underwear, No?? A wallet, I really need a new wallet….No?? Sox, you got me sox!!!!!!!!!!! No? Money??? That answer is ALWAYS No….hehehe but hey, it’s worth a shot. When all else fails and he’s climbing out of his boxers or briefs, you can reveal the present, gush with gratitude and joy, hug him mercilessly and then start on the next one. Don’t worry, Dirk, at this rate you’ll be done by New Year’s. So, before I move on to things more work related, I wish you and Lola and Tristen and all your friends, family and admirers a Happy Holiday season and good health, good luck and prosperity in the coming New Year.
Dirk says: …I have made a note of the above protocol and will keeping it under advisement this evening. And best wishes to you for a happy holiday and a healthy and prosperous new year, Carl!
By: carlnepa on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 9:14 am
Metallic paper? The foil kind? Not that I’m encouraging you to do anything untoward, but…
My high school BFF discovered that tape lifts off foil paper without ripping. Each year she’d check out all her gifts because her mom always used the foil paper. If she particulalry liked an item of clothing her mom had bought, she’d wear it to school and then re-wrap it before her mom got home from work.
Dirk says: …I could never even conceive of such a thing. (Nor can I implement it since the gifts are now opened. Of course, with anyluck, there may be next year…)
By: Sarah on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 10:42 am
FIVE PRESENTS? Dirk, unless they’re all trinkets from Dollar General, you’ve hit the mother lode, so to speak! I wish you and The Fella peace, happiness, and an enjoyable evening together.
Merry Christmas to us one and all!
Dirk says: …I don’t know about mother lode, but I was really touched with the gifts I received.
By: catrina on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 11:28 am
God bless us everyone!
Dirk says: …what Ed said.
By: Ed on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 4:02 pm
Or SO. As in “This is SO much more than a dalliance.”
I’m eager to hear how this goes. Good luck!!
By: javabear on Tuesday, December 23, 2008
at 8:59 pm
This is all a good thing, is it not?
By: Steven on Wednesday, December 24, 2008
at 8:52 am
You are correct. You’re not a dalliance; you’re his boyfriend.
By: Mark in DE on Sunday, December 28, 2008
at 6:32 pm