Jack calls Ashley on his cell, asking her to lunch so he can use her as a buffer when he tells Sharon about the plan to regain control of Jabot.  Meanwhile in the living room, Sharon takes a call from the FBI wanting to speak to Jack.  The huffy bitch hands her husband the phone and listens as he makes plans to meet with them later that morning. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks after he hangs up.  Jack says he didn’t want to upset his mother and Tracy. ”Why do you keep things like this from me?” Sharon shrieks, “Do you think I can’t handle the truth?”  Jack tries to change the subject by inviting his child bride to lunch. ”Why – so you can try and sweet talk me into forgetting all your secrets and lies?” Sharon shrieks as she grabs and heads for the door. “Forget it!”

At the RESTLESS STYLE offices, Phyllis continues to dig into Jack’s trip to Mexico.  Nick enters with Nikki who is determined to get back to work. Phyllis welcomes her mother-in-law back and heads out for a meeting. Once his awesome wife is gone, Nick asks Nikki to move in with him and Phyllis, but Drunky McStripper refuses. 

Adam gives Heather a diamond necklace.  Her boss interrupts them mid -kiss, asking to speak to Heather alone.  Adam watches through the window as he starts reaming Heather.

Michael informs Victor that the Mexican officials want to extradite him for the murder of Walter Palin.  The Moustache tells his attorneythat he didn’t kill anyone — they got a boat, went out to sea, a storm came up, the damn thing sank, he made it out, Palindidn’t.  On the brighter side, Michael tells him, they should be getting the diary for their experts to examine today.  “And when it’s proven to be a fake, I want Adam prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” Victor says in his patented mumble.

At Crimson Lights, Phyllis is going over the list of charges made to Jack’s credit card when Sharon comes in.  Of course, Big Red makes a beeline for her arch rival.  You seem shaky, Phyllis taunts.  “Where is Nick working today?  Newman or the magazine?” is Sharon’s response.  The magazine, Phyllis replies — why?  “Family business,” Sharon sneers and walks out.  Phyllis whips out her cell.  “Cancel my first appointment…”

Ashley goes to see Victor who tells her that soon the diary will be provento be a fake and he’ll be a free man, able to start his life over.  And it’s all thanks to her — she’s responsible for his finding a reason to go on and for  his reconciliation with his children.  Ashley tells him there’s one other person responsible…Nikki.

Jack opens his front door to an irate Phyllis. “Keep an eye on your wife — what part of that don’t you understand?  I just ran into Sharon and she’s looking for my husband!” Big Red shrieks.

Meanwhile over at RESTLESS STYLE, Sharon finds Nick.  “Is this visit about our kiss in Paris?” Nick asks his ex.  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either…”

Heather tells the pocket Newman that the diary is being turned over to Michael Baldwin today and that the FBI is investigating everyone involved with it.  Don’t worry, it will hold up, Adam tells his fiancee.  Heather has a question: “Why did you transfer the bulk of your 2 million dollar advance to a Swiss bank account?”

Nikki goes over to see Paul to assure him she is doing okay.  I think he’s really just hoping to get in Nikki’s orbit and skim a little storyline action if you ask me.

Victor asks Ashleyto never mention Nikki’s name again.  Ms. Abbott points out that Nikki was the one that asked her to step in and risked so much to help him evade the authorities.  She urges him to mend things with the ex-stripper. Victor says that his ex-wife is responsible for the death of Lurch and lilPeanut Newman.   “I don’t think you can go on with all this anger,” Ashley states in her usual detached way. “You need to release her.  You have the power to do that…”

Phyllis is on a fucking rampage.  “Every time you upset your wife, she runs to my husband.  Every. Single. Time.  Put your wife on a leash!”  “I thought your marriage was fine,” Jack replies, annoyed. Cue Phyllis flashing back to the kiss she witnessed in Paris. “It is,” Big Red shrieks, “it’s yours you need to be worried about. The more she talks to Nick, the more he’s in your business.  Is that something you really want, Jack? Keep Sharon away from my husband!  I want her away from my family!” Cue Jack flashing back to the embrace he witnessed in his living room.

Ashley calls Nikki and tells her Victor would like to see her.  I don’t need to tell you that the former Mrs. Victor Newman’s granny panties are moist when she hangs up.  Paul urges her not to get her hopes up, but Nikki ain’t havin’ none of that shit. Victor’s back in Genoa City and he’s lost so much in a short time (wife Lurch, lil unborn Peanut Newman, and dear friend The Cryptkeeper) that he has to be a changed man. “His wanting to see me could mean he’s ready to let me in,” the crazy heifer reasons.  Oh, Nikki — may I suggest you have a stiff one before you head out?  For courage type purposes only.

Michael arrives at the jail with the diary.  Victor recognizes the notebook as one he bought south of the border and identifies some of the passages he did write (about Tony Amato and his epilepsy meds).  Michael asks if he brought the notebook back to the states with him.  “No,” The Moustache huffs, “I left everything in that shack on the beach.  The only ones that visited me there were the girl that brought me food and Nikki…”

Adam explains that even if Victor is convicted, he knows too many people: Adam could wake up one day and find his money has vanished.  Plus, he wants them to get married and put an ocean between them and Victor and this stupid town.  “I’m not quitting my job and moving on a whim,” bitchy Heather announces.  “If you really knew me, you’d know how important my job is to me.”  Obviously more so than you, lil Vic.

Nick tells Sharon he feels guilty about Paris — he put her in a difficult situation.  “I didn’t have to kiss you back,” is Sharon’s reply.  Good point, whore. Nick says he wasn’t being fair to her or to Phyllis and thanks his dim-bulb ex for being the voice of reason and stopping things from going further.  “We’ll blame it on the chocolate croissants!” Sharon giggles.  You are such a stupid gash, Sharon.

Jack shows Phyllis to the door, but she ain’t having it. “It one thing to ignore your problems, it’s another to create them,” she tells her ex-husband. What are you talking about, Jack asks. “Mexico.  You went to Mexico to dig up info on Victor. Next time don’t use your RESTLESS STYLEpress credentials.  And don’t try to play me, Jack — I have proof…”

Before she leaves for the jail, Paul makes Nikki an offer: why not leave the cold impersonal GCAC and move in with him?  Nikki mulls the offer over for about 5 seconds and accepts the offer of lodging from the man who gave her venereal disease 30 years ago.  Another sound decision, Nikki — what say we celebrate with a drinkie-poo?

Michael and Ashley try to convince Victor that Nikki would never align herself with Adam.  “He’s too stupid to have conceived of this forgery.  Someone was helping him.  Find out who and get me out of here,” Victor demands.

Sharon tells Nick the reason she was looking for him: Jack is responsible for introducing Adam to Robert Drake and setting the wheels in motion for the journal being published.  And you accuse Jack of finding new ways to sabotage your marriage, Sharon?  You’re a two-faced bitch.

Phyllis shoves the copies of Jack’s credit card bills at him.  “We’ll see what Sharon thinks about these!”  Jack tells his ex-wife he could have her arrested.  “Is that really how you want to play this, Jack? You want to advertise that you’ve been hanging out hookers in cheap motel rooms?  The wife is always the last to know, but we always find out…” Big Red is on a roll now.  “Every single moment you spend with some hooker in some hotel room, you wife is spending with my husband and I am done with it.  Do you understand?  I’m done!  Get a hold of your life — it’s slipping away from you!” Jack is fucking pissed off now.  “If you ever dig into my personal information again, if you ever stick your nose in my marriage again, sweetheart, it’s war,” he hisses, “and I promise you you will lose.”  Way to man up, Jack — now why don’t you grow those same pair when Sharon is yanking your leash?

Michael tells NIck he has bad news for him: Victor admits buying the notebook and writing in it.  Nick tells Michael he has bad news for him: Jack is responsible for it being published.

Victor urges Ashley to go back to London so she won’t be dragged into the publicity surrounding his trial.  Oh she’s going back to London — to get Abby and come back to Genoa City.  “I’m going to be right by your side every day until the truth comes out,” Ashley says.  Enter Nikki.

Sharon returns home to find Jack getting ready to go meet with the FBI.  She thought he was getting ready to do that before she left earlier.  Jacks says he was but he had a business thing come up.  When Sharon scoffs at “another business meeting”, Jack tells her the big news:  the Abbott family has regained control of Jabot.  “The only way you could do that is by scheming,” Sharon replies.  Jack tells his wife things are looking up for them.  “You’re the only person I know who could say that as he’s on his way to be interrogated by the FBI,” Sharon sighs in disgust.

Brad the No-Longer Convenient Jew answers his door.  It’s Phyllis.  “I want to talk to you about Jack and Sharon’s marriage…”

Due to some electrical problem at her apartment (i.e., she’s a character that doesn’t warrant her own set), Tyra is at Neil’s getting ready for her date with Detective Gil Wallace. Neil thinks she looks too hot and it’s clear he’s not happy when Gil arrives. “Have her home at a decent hour,” Mr. Winters instructs the cop as they leave.  Shut the fuck up, Neil.  After they’re gone, Olivia waxes nostalgic about how Dru learned to cook to snag Neil.  Isn’t there some border without a doctor, Olivia?

Sharon picks up a picture of her and Jack and starts to smash it but stops.  “You’re not worth it,” the dumb-ass sighs.

Phyllis: I think we can help each other.  You still have feelings for Sharon, don’t you?
Brad: We’re friends.
Phyllis:Did your friend tell you her marriage is about to fall apart? You say the word and I can arrange for you to be there when Sharon’s about to dump Jack…which according to my calendar is any day now.

Jack meets with Heather and the FBI.  He admits to knowing Adam and introducing him to Robert Drake.  Heather asks why he helped Adam.  “I felt what Victor did was reprehensible — he blackballed his own son.  The kid is still out of work,” Jack answers.  The FBI ask if he had any problem with the journal’s contents.  Nope, Abbott replies, any publisher worth his weight would verify the contents before publishing it.

Ashley leaves Victor and Nikki alone.  Victor hands her a photocopy of the journal. 
Victor: Do you know about this?  Are you responsible for it?
Nikki: Victor, I’ve been trying to move heaven and earth to save you, not put you in prison…
Victor: I did not take that notebook when I left Mexico — how else did it get to the ranch? Are you fully aware if I can’t prove this is a forgery, I’ll spend the rest of my life behind bars? I should never have let you become a part of my life. Ever.

Olivia asks Neil if he loves chicken adobo Karen.  Neil whips out an engagement ring — does that answer her question?  “I love you too much not to tell you this,” Mr. Winter’s sister-in-law says, “You shouldn’t marry Karen…”

Nick runs into Adam at Crimson Lights.  “I know about you and Jack,” Hunkalicious tells his baby half-bro. “You cooked up the diary together.  I’m on to you.”  Adam tries to walk away but Mr. Sexy Hunk follows him onto the patio, telling the pocket Newman that Jack has most likely set things up in a way that when everything blows up — and it will — Adam will the one left holding the bag.  “If you were smart you’d cut a deal and testify against Jack,” Nick advises.  But for once in his tiny little life, Adam remains unshaken.  “Victor’s going away for 20 years,” he smirks, “get used to it…”

Phyllis:Look — what benefits me, benefits you. If Jack keeps on screwing up the way he is, Nick is directly in Sharon’s path.
Brad: You don’t trust Nick.
Phyllis: Oh I trust him, I don’t trust her.
Brad: It takes two.
Phyllis: No, actually it doesn’t. Let me explain something about Sharon…she can’t be without a man. She has a history of jumping into bed with the first man she sees. My husband is not going to be the one she goes to for comfort this time.
Brad: So you and I have barely spoken since I put you away for blackmailing me and yet here you are in my home panicking — borderline begging — for me to help you. Pass.
Phyllis: I want you to think about it and when you change your mind — and you will — call me and we’ll talk strategy.

Nikki tells Victor he’s not the first person to lose someone but obviously he’s too arrogant and self absorbed to recognize that.  She can’t believe Ashley is going down that road with him again (because her ex-stripping ass wishes it could be her instead).  “Finished?” Victor huffs.  “Yes, I’m finished with YOU!  I’ve cried my last tear over you!” Nikki screams.  “Get out!” The Moustache screams back.  “Go to hell!” Nikki replies as she exits.

Brad runs into Sharon at the GCAC.  “I could use a friend,” the aging model tells her ex bed partner.

Nikki returns to Paul’s apartment and tells him she’s finally free. She’s tired of being punished for the decisions she’s made. (Good point, Nikki — people should never be judged for their own actions…that accountability shit is waaaaay over-rated.) Paul says he’s proud of her.

Olivia tells Neil that the more time she spends with him and chicken adobo Karen, the more she realizes they’re not right for each other.  If you marry chicken adobo Karen, you’ll have a safe, boring marriage Olivia tells her brother-in-law. But Tyra — now she is more like Dru (if Dru wore too much make-up and couldn’t act).  “And she’s crazy about you,” Olivia adds.

Brad asks if Sharon is having problems with her marriage. Sharon says she doesn’t want to talk about it — after all, how many times did Brad tell her not to marry Jack?  (Like about eleventy hundred and six.) Brad tells the dumb-ass he’s there any time she needs to talk. If he really cared, he’d get her ass to a hair stylist.

Over dinner, Gil tells Tyra she looks much too young to be Ana’s mother. (Ruh-roh.) Where is Ana’s father?  (Ruh-roh redeux.)  Tyra says he’s not in the picture.  Tyra turns the conversation to Gil’s family.  When he says they’ve all passed, Tyra invites him to dinner at Neil’s.  (Um, maybe you need to ask first, bitch — chicken adobo don’t make itself, you know!).

Phyllis meets Nick at Crimson Lights and her hubby fills her in on Jack’s involvement in the journal scandal. She asks her hubby what proof he has.  Nick just looks at her.

Meanwhile, a panicked Adam hauls ass over to the Abbott mansion.  You have nothing to worry about, so quit wringing your hands and worrying, Jack tells him.  “If you feel guilty, you act guilty,” Abbott adds as he shows the pocket Newman out the door before Sharon returns.

Paul asks Nikki to spend the night.  She can have his bed and he’ll take the sofa.  NIkki accepts and soon theyare tripping down memory lane, recalling the first time they met (strangely, neither mentions the scorching case of the clap Paul gave her).  The conversation ends in a kiss.  Ack.

Ashley and Olivia run into each other at Crimson Lights.  The dear friends sit down for coffee. Olivia says that Lil Nate is in medical school at John Hopkins.  Ashley says she’s back with the man who got her pregnant and then returned to his wife which in turn caused Ashley to abort her baby and suffer a mental breakdown and later steal a vial of his spunk from the jism bank and impregante herself resulting in Lil Abby (who’s grown into quite the young lady in London, she might add).  Olivia tells Ash she is making a big mistake being with Victor.

Neil gives chicken adobo Karen the engagement ring to make things official.

Heather tells Adam that according to the FBI, Jack’s story holds up.  Her truth radar, however, tells her that Jack is hiding something.  Adam is a little too helpful, explaining that any odd behavior on Jack’s part is most likely because his marriage is falling apart.  Heather says she doubts it and is going to do some more digging to see just what Jack’s hiding.

Gil takes Tyra back to Neil’s and they kiss at the door.  As they hug, it’s clear Tyra’s heart is not in it. 

Chicken adobo Karen kisses Neil.  They hug and his face makes it clear his heart is not in it.

Paul and Nikki lie naked in bed. ”Feels like we’re kids again,” Paul gushes, “only now I’m wise enough to recognize what an extraordinary woman you are.”  With post coital small talk like that it’s no wonder the infinitely likeable Maggie vanished without an explanation.  You might just wanna fuck and shut up, Paul.

Nick goes to jail and tells Victor that Jack arranged for Adam to meet with Robert Drake.  “Now we just need to come up with a way to smoke them out,” Nick says.

Sharon tells Jack she’s giving their marriage one more chance.  And she’s giving a one time get out of jail free card — is there anything else he’s hiding?  Jack tells her no.  (Oh, Jack — that is going to come back to bite you in the ass…)

Brad calls Phyllis to tell her he’s reconsidered…what does he need to do?  “When I give the green light just make sure you’re there,” Big Red tells him.  “I’ll be there…for Sharon’s sake,” the No Longer Convenient Jew replies.

Vicboria and Nick go to see The Moustache before Thanksgiving dinner.  He tells them about his meeting with Nikki and that he wants nothing more to do with her.

Nikki wakes up next to Paul.  They kiss and laugh that it’s afternoon.  I throw up  in my mouth a little.

Gil, Tyra, and Ana arrive at Neil and chicken adobo Karen’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  Tyra admires the chicken adobo one’s ring, but is clearly bothered it’s not on her finger.

At the Abbott mansion, Jack, Sharon, and Noah prepare for dinner. Complete retard Noah goes to get Cassie’s paper turkey– no family dinner is complete without Cassie’s paper turkey.  The once again de-nutted Jack thanks Sharon for giving their marriage another second chance.  Man up, Jack — the bitch ain’t worth the effort.

Cane and Chloe go to the Chancellor estate for dinner.  Billy feels left out when he sees how close Cane and Jill are.  Later, Esther and Jill get into it when the former maid tells Jill she might not be feeling so guilty if she had treated The Cryptkeeper better.  Jill tells her she’s crossed a line.  “What are you going to do?” Esther replies, “Kick me out?”

Murphy take “Marge” to work at the diner.  Upon entering, she comments that nothing looks familiar to her.  The boss, Joe Jr., tells her to get her ancient ass to work.

Nikki invites Paul to join her family for Thanksgiving dinner.  When he brings up their fuck session, Nikki asks him not to define it — this is the first time she’s woke up happy in months.  Okay, the private dick replies, but let’s keep it between ourselves for now.

“Marge” has trouble taking orders and getting the right food to the right customers.  When Joe Jr. snaps at her, she snaps back that she’s doing the best she can and to get off her wrinkled ass.

At the WInters’ dinner table, Ana tells Tyra if she would get married she could have a ring just like chicken adobo Karen’s.  Tyra changes the subject by suggesting theyserve up the pie with traditional whipped cream tinted with food coloring — it’s their own little family tradition(what the fuck ever).  “Just like Karen’s chicken adobo is now a part of our family tradition,” Lily says.  Oh yeah — the infamous chicken adobo gets a shout out! Can I get a he-e-e-e-ey?

Noah picks up on the tension at the dinner table and later offers to stay with Sharon but she tells him that Nick is expecting him at the GCAC.

Gil has to leave for his shift.  Chicken adobo Karen suggests a double date sometime.  Lily gets a text from Billy. Like the dumb-ass she is, Lily announces who it’s from causing Neil to raise an eyebrow that she’s hooking up with her ex-fiancee’s brother.  Shut the fuck up, Neil — your dead wife had your brother’s baby (after he helped himself to the goods while she was high on over the counter flu medicine) — so don’t be all with the judging.

Nikki shows up at the GCAC dressed like a whore house madam with Paul in tow. Can’t-Stop-Staring-At-The-Camera Summer and No-Neck Reed are there annoying the ever living fuck out of me.  Nikki announces she’s staying with Paul now.  Vicboria asks if she’s okay after seeing Victor.  “I did what I did so he could reconnect with his family,” Nikki tells her.  Just then Adam and Heather pass by. ”Too bad they’ll only see each other through bars,” the pocket Newman smirks.  “Enjoy your day because when what you did to Dad comes out, it’ll be your last together,” Nick snipes at his diminutive half-bro. Paul and Heather trade looks.  Un-COM-fortable. 

Cane thanks Billy for talking to Lily at the bookstore.  Billy in turn suggest The Thunder From Down Under stay away from America’s Former Next Top Model and quit fucking with her head.  Just then Billy receives a text message.  He makes a point of saying it’s Lily asking him to go for a walk.  “I didn’t know you were two were close,” Jill comments.

Fellow waitress Pearl comments that “Marge” is not acting or sounding like herself.  Murphy helps “Marge” get her orders straight.  Later, Joe, Jr. rips into “Marge” about keeping up and she starts to find her groove.

Phyllis takes Can’t-Stop-Staring-At-The-Camera Summer to see the puppets in the rec room (Seriously?  I’m supposed to believe that the athletic club has puppets? Jesus, you are so lame sometimes, Y&R). The conversation turns to Jack and Adam teaming up. Paul says he’ll look into it.  “Never underestimate Jack’s desire to see your father suffer,” Nikki tells her spawn.

Victor is brought in to see a visitor.  It’s Jack, looking 9 kinds of smug.

Gil gets to work and is handed a missing child poster.  It’s Ana. And in a pic obviously taken like last week. Which begs the question, if Tyra is so fucking worried about Yolanda, why is she sending her sister pics?

Billy shows up at Neil and Karen’s. Papa Winters immediately asks him if he thinks it is a good idea to be such good friend’s with his brother’s ex.  Lily and Billy head out for a walk and return like 3 seconds later with Detective Wallace and social worker Marisol Pena. Gil says that Ana was reported missing by Yolanda Hamilton. Tyra blurts out that she is Ana’s aunt.  “My mother is a crack whore!” Devon shouts (maybe he needs to get new batteries for the Cochlear implant and start using an inside voice). “Ana is scared to death of her!  You’re not taking my sister anywhere!”  Um, guess again, deafie– Gil got the law on his side.

Phyllis returns to the table solo (C-S-S-A-T-C Summer stayed behind with the puppets…i.e., bitch is more trouble than she’s worth and can’t hit her marks) to find that Sharon and Noah have arrived. The Newmans go around the table saying the shit they are thankful for.  When it’s Big Red’s turn, she says she’s thankful for her kids and her super sexy husband who makes her feel like the luckiest woman every day and then plants a big on Hunkalicious.

“Marge” celebrates a great first day at work.  Murphy is proud of her for finding her groove. “If I’m going to be a waitress, I’m going to be the best damn waitress I can be,” she says, adding that she wants to go home and soak her tired dogs.  Ack — I’m getting a visual.

Cane and Chloe discuss baby names.  They’re leaning toward Pandora, Felicity and Sierra.  That’s right – Chloe had a test and it’s a girl!  And her middle name will be Katherine!  Jill is thrilled and tells Esther to get them some sparkling cider.  “Get it yourself,” Esther replies. ”I’m not waiting on you any more.  As co-owner of this house I am firing myself!”

Adam asks Heather how she feels about a Christmas wedding. I don’t know about that dumb bitch, but I feel like it’s a perfect time for a dramatic mid-ceremony arrest of the pocket Newman. 

“I was going to bring you a file in a turkey leg,” Jack tells The Moustache.  Victor says Jack won’t find any of this funny when he is revealed to be the one behind this.  “I didn’t murder anyone but when I get out here, I may change my  mind about that,” Newman says in his patented mumble.

Ana returns from a friend’s.  Gil tells her she is temporarily going into foster care.  “I won’t go!” Ana wails, hiding her face in her brother’s chest and simulating crying. “Devon, don’t let them take me! I don’t want to leave my family…”   Yes, Devon, don’t let them take her because I have no interest whatsoever in seeing this shit played out.

 

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