I had a very strange dream last night.
In it, Lola and I were competing on THE AMAZING RACE. Apparently the leg of the race we were on required us to race to one of several vans parked at the mall and drive from Sears to Macy’s.
A distance of about 150 yards.
After parking the van by the clue flag, we had to race over to a grassy area we had to participate in a road block in which Lola had to paint my forearms with butter and coat them in bread crumbs before I rode a bike through a maze consisting of 3 turns and then jumped into a shallow mud puddle.
We began the leg of the race in the lead but somehow got lost on our way to Macy’s (which you can see from Sear’s), resulting in several teams overtaking our lead. Then Lola had trouble getting the bread crumbs to stick and I could not seem to make the turns in the proper manner which ultimately resulted in our being the last team to arrive at Hobby Lobby.
“He’s so moody when he doesn’t get his way, Phil,” Lola explained as I started sobbing about not wanting to be eliminated when there was so much more of the world to see.
I am so fucked up.
Being an amateur dream analyst, I can only come to one conclusion….chain department stores, butter and bread crumbs, and running a race with Lola all point to one thing:
get thee some Lunesta!
By: catrina on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 6:10 am
Too much TV watching can lead to such dreams. Interesting that your mother was your partner. Very interesting.
By: Ed on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 6:43 am
ok, that’s one weird, yet vivid dream, but I too find it sort of interesting that your mom was your race partner and in a way I don’t, because when push comes to shove, she’ll always be your mom.
By: Jer on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 7:29 am
Oh wow, I thought my best friend and his wife would be the best team to watch on Amazing race but you and Lola…when is the next audition?
By: Sarah on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 7:30 am
I was OK until I got to the butter and bread crumbs part. I lost it right there. With Thanksgiving just a week away perhaps you’re afraid of having your arms served up as Turkey Drumsticks? Too funny, Dirk!
By: javabear on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 9:11 am
The race is life. Your suppose to get from Sears (Straight) to Macys (Gay). You can see Macys from Sears. Your partner keeps breading your arms (covering them up) but it wont stick – your Mom wants you to cover up the gay but it doesnt keep.
Get in the fucking car and drive over to Macys already.
By: Dennis on Thursday, November 20, 2008
at 11:00 am
I think I’m apt to agree with Dennis on that interpretation. But again, notice that your mom sticks with you through the whole thing as a “team”
By: Jer on Friday, November 21, 2008
at 7:16 am
My analysis: You are trying to forget that Thanksgiving is coming up by focusing on television.
By: Josh on Saturday, November 22, 2008
at 7:35 am