What’s on my mind this Monday morning? I’m glad you asked…
~ Beyonce as Wonder Woman. Seriously, Warner Brothers — you fire Joss Whedon from the project and then entertain this idea? With that type of forward (i.e., retarded) thinking, may I suggest Stephen Hawking as Steve Trevor and Harvey Fierstein as Queen Hippolyta? And of course, you’ll want to have Akiva Goldsman write and Joel Schumacher direct to make the trainwreck complete.
~ Stephen Rader brought my attention to the new WATCHMEN trailer. Sweet. Fetal. Jesus. This is going to rock. And as always, if you haven’t read the graphic novel — what the fuck are you waiting for?
~ I’m sure it’s just me, but what is it about Barack Obama that has everyone spontaneously orgasming every time his name is mentioned? I just don’t get it. And might I suggest we let him get his presidential feet wet before we declare him the new Messiah?
~ Wanda Sykes is gay? Why didn’t anyone send me the memo?
~ How awesome was the TOP CHEF season premiere? I love, love, LOVE me some Tom Colicchio and Padma Lakshmi. (And I’m mad crushin’ on contestant Danny.)
~ Since heterosexual marriage is so sacred, how about we pass a law making it illegal to get a divorce? You know, to keep it sacred and prevent the institution from getting all sullied and such.
~ I hate that in-touch-with-his-inner-teenage-girl Terence and Sarah went home on last night’s AMAZING RACE. I really wanted to see eyelidless Tina and whipping boy Ken take a powder.
~ Serena van der Woodsen. Sorry — I just love saying that name.
~ How adorable is Tucker?
~ Limited edition Jello brand Classic Turtle pudding fucking rocks.
Well, that’s about it. (Yeah, I know — I’m just all kinds of deep and shit.)
So, what’s on your minds today…?
I don’t have time to comment; I’m on my way out the door for some of that Turtle pudding!
By: catrina on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 6:24 am
Please Dirk, Wanda Sykes is so obviously Gayer than a frilly party dress.
The only question on my mind as I read this is, what is going on with your relationship and I don’t mean with Lola.
This is my last week of school until next month. woo-hoo! (I know there’s only one week left don’t take away from my moment ‘kay?)
By: Ed on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 7:01 am
Um, that giant elephant in the room is not going away. Spill it!
By: tornwordo on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 8:31 am
Beyonce as Wonder Woman? Um, NO.
Tucker is cute, but I still think she should have named him Brad Paisley.
And I totally and completely agree with you about Obama. And I hope he doesn’t pick Hillary.
By: Jennelou on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 8:57 am
I like chocolate pudding. Hell, I like chocolate. Turtle pudding? I might have to try that. I’m glad to see you’re branching out from Triscuits.
Wanda Sykes’ coming out isn’t quite as “Duh” as Gay Akin, but I’ve been suspicious. I don’t think my lesbian gaydar is as acute as my guy gaydar.
Obama is going to have some high expectations to fill once he moves into the White House. You know he’s gonna disappoint. Not that he won’t be good, it’s just that people are expecting too much. Lower expectations are a good thing, people.
By: javabear on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 9:14 am
Hell no, Beyonce! I mean, that’s dumbass Hollywood casting but I find when a female casting decision makes no sense Scarlett Johansson (sp?) is the go to girl these days. And you know the producers would let her stay blonde.
Dirk says: …ScarJo would make an awesome Silver Swan in a Wonder Woman movie but I can’t see her as WW.
I don’t get not getting the Obamamania so I can’t help you there.
Dirk says: …he’s just a man who’s promising a lot of shit he most likely won’t be able to deliver same as every other politician. And I don’t really find him all that likeable — he seems kind of cocky to me.
Shouldn’t more people be coming out? Dan Savage can’t be the only person yelling at Tony Perkins on TV. God, wouldn’t it be great if the original Tony Perkins was still alive and could yell at the crazy Christian Tony Perkins on TV?
Dirk says: …more should people should be coming out, but then again they probably figure any rights they enjoy as a non-identified ‘mo will be exponentially reduced.
Hey, what have divorce attorneys ever done to you?
Dirk says: …LOL. Just saying that if gays present a danger to the all sacred hetero unions, then divorce has to be a close second.
I was perfectly okay with Terence and Sarah going home. I can’t take couples who call each other “babe” all the time.
Dirk says: …the “babe” thing made me want to yak, too but I loved what a gurl he was. Plus, Ken and Tina irritate the living shit out of me.
“Serena/The most beautiful sound I ever heard/Serena”
Dirk says: …GOSSIP GIRL is going to make that name more popular than Ashley and Brittany. Word.
Pretty adorable.
Dirk says: …told ya so.
If I had anything on my mind, I’d be posting on my own site but here I am taking up space on your’s.
Dirk says: …and you’re always welcome to opine here, Sarah!
By: Sarah on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 9:21 am
Dirk, as for your comments re Obama—Considering what we’re getting rid of in 63 days, I dare say the expectations can be lowered dramatically, and we’ll still begin to prosper. He’s not a messiah, but I’m ready for—OK, I’ve GOT to say it—CHANGE!
Dirk says: …oh, believe me a dog turd in the oval office would beat Bush as president, but I still fail to see what compels people to become such zealots and worship at the altar of Obama. It’s like when people gush over the Kennedys — Jesus Christ, has there ever been a more fucked up clan? And yet people think they fucking walk(ed) on water. Whatever. And could someone…ANYONE…please define exactly what this “change” is going to be?
By: catrina on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 12:17 pm
First, don’t hold your breath for the watchmen. My guess is that it still ain’t comin’ out.
Second, that turtle jello looks more like TURD-le jello.
Dirk says: …oh, THE WATCHMEN are coming. Warner Brothers knows this is a fucking lock at the box office and Fox is going to cave and reach a settlement based on their failing box office receipts and faltering network. Add to that, a fanboy organized boycott of all things Fox should they delay the film in any way and I think you’ll be seeing Mr. Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian on the big screen come March 6.
By: cb on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 2:39 pm
change for me is someone besides G. W.
Dirk says: …honey, that’s not change — that’s a blessing.
By: catrina on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 4:27 pm
Amen! THE WATCHMEN will come out and we WILL be watching it on 03.06.09.
Now, if who is going to dress up like Nite Owl and ride me like Patrick Wilson does in my dreams?
By: Stephen on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 6:41 pm
Yay for The Watchmen!!!
And I couldn’t find the turtle pudding at Meijer!! Where did you find it??
Dirk says: …shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone but I got it at Walmart.
By: itsaheartache on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 6:43 pm
Need to listen to Obamas words. Hes good. The acolytes only here what they want but what he says doesnt over promise and isnt simplistic. I didnt support him in the primaries (because there was no there there) but he started to talk substance in the campaign. Guess thats what happens when you dont differ much from your primary adversary.
His plans: end the war, healthcare, end oil dependence. We’re already going into enormous debt – might as well get something for it.
Dirk says: …hey, pass me that Kool-aid already!
By: Dennis on Monday, November 17, 2008
at 10:02 pm
Those of us who are among the throngs of the uninsured look forward to Obama’s health care plan.
We’ve lost so many jobs to other countries because the Republican’ts actually gave them tax breaks to move. Obama promises to stop subsidizing the moves and start rewarding those who stay here providing american jobs, yeah!
Dirk says: …if he does that, then I say hooray. But I’m not holding my breath.
By: Ed on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
at 6:36 am
ok Dirk… fill us in… enough stalling
By: Zacki on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
at 12:00 pm
Is Tucker a Westie or a Cairn Terrier by chance?
Dirk says: …a Cairn Terrier.
By: Jer on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
at 4:24 pm
I wasn’t excited about Obama at first. But the more I saw of him, the more I realized how smart he was, and we really need that. And once the herd thinned out, and I saw what our alternatives were, it became IMPERATIVE that he be elected.
And when Father Time picked that Clueless Bitch for his running mate, it became MORE imperative. God forbid that Father T. should keel over during sex with Cindy the Ice Queen and Clueless Bitch would then be Prez. With her finger on the Red Button. Um, no. No, thank you.
As far as what “change” means, right now that would be ANYTHING. At least he’s spending his pre-inaugural time getting his team in order and actually drafting up a plan that involves more than Ways to Snoop on Law-Abiding Americans Under the Guise of Protecting Us From Terrorists.
Tucker’s quite adorable. Life with your mother hasn’t embittered him yet–that’s encouraging.
By: Aaron on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
at 10:07 pm
I’m sure I’ll need to bring a change of underwear to the theater when the Watchmen finally opens next year.
By: Josh on Saturday, November 22, 2008
at 7:32 am