They were already in line when I arrived, a rag-tag group of husky, unshaven stereotypical comic book geeks clad in superhero tees and cut off knee-length camouflage shorts, shouting over one another to be heard.
Geek#1: Hottest chick in the Marvel universe?
Geek#2: No contest — Emma Frost!
Geek#3: Black Widow!
Geek#4: Mary Jane!
Geek#1: Wanda Maximoff! The Scarlet Witch rules.
Geek#5: Famke Janssen!
***Cue the geek version of the record scratch***
Geek#1: Dude, Famke Janssen is real…
Geek#5: Yeah, but she was the Phoenix!
Geek#1: No, she was Jean Grey…she only manifested her Phoenix abilities in X3.
Geek#5: Doesn’t matter — she was Jean. Jean is in the Marvel universe, so Famke counts.
Geek#1: Dude, the movies are not part of accepted continuity — they’re an alternate timeline at best…
Geek#3 (groaning): X3…please don’t bring up the Ratner fiasco on this night when we’re here for Marvel done right.
Geek#1: Plus, she’s real, man — NOT a comic.
As I stood there watching Geek#5’s face screwed up in intense thought as he struggled to process the reasoning behind Ms. Janssen’s disqualification from the competition, I knew with great certainty that none of these guys had ever been within 100 feet of a real female.
Or the deodorant aisle.
(And for those who are interested in such things, they were all wrong — Gwen Stacy is, was, and always will be the hottest chick in the Marvel Universe.)
Yawn! I never noticed any of those none Penis non-personas. Spiderman, Spiderman does what ever a spider can. Not over muscled or too invulnerable, he has it going on. While you were there did you get the new version of Sleeping Beauty? Prince Charming is very, very what is the word…Charming? Yea that’s it!
By: ed on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 6:15 am
Having spent time in the fanboy world I have a great appreciation for the accuracy in which this story was relayed to us.
I remember one evening sitting at a bar with a couple of my fanboyfriend’s fanboys and getting the feeling that as an actual woman in their midst I was being viewed as some sort of awesome alien.
And in my humble opinion, it’s Rogue. Not just because she’s hot but because she’s so cool and has the most interesting powers.
By: Sarah on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 7:17 am
uh, no no.
Carol Danvers, please.
By: Eric on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 8:00 am
Sorry, I didn’t understand a word of this post because I do not speak Geek.
Mark
By: Mark in DE on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 11:18 am
Favorite quote that totally places this conversation in the most severe geek category: Dude, the movies are not part of accepted continuity — they’re an alternate timeline at best…
By: javabear on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 1:04 pm
I think I would have chimed in with “Dudes! Which comic book is it best to have sex with??”
By: cb on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 2:38 pm
Unfortunately my response is PURELY hypothetical, as I wouldn’t be geeky enough to be standing in line at midnight for a DVD that I could just as easily pick up the next friggin’ day.
By: cb on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
at 2:42 pm