Posted by: dirkmancuso | Friday, August 29, 2008

Make Me Laugh Friday

Q:  How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:  I don’t know — I think the bigger question is how did they get in there.

Okay, it’s your turn.  Make me laugh, bitches…

Posted in Jokes

«
»

Responses

  1. A gay guy goes to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. His friend says, “my feet are cold, Would you get me my sneakers for me?” The Gay guy goes upstairs, and there are his friends two handsome sons.
    He says, “hi, boys, your dad sent me up here to fuck you.”
    The first son said, “That’s not true.” He says, “I’ll prove it.” He yells down the stairs, “Both of them?” His friend yells back, “of course, both of them.”

    By: ed on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 6:06 am

    Reply

  2. Peggy Sue’s date, Harold, stops by to pick her up. Her mom, Edna, says, “She’s still getting ready, she’ll be down in a minute. So where are you two off to tonight?”

    Harold says, “Well, we’ll probably go get a few burgers and malts and see a drive-in movie.”

    Edna says, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? She loves to screw!”

    Harold’s face lights up and he stammers, “R-Really? S-screw?”

    “Sure! All the kids are doing it now!”

    Peggy Sue comes downstairs, her hair perfectly beehived and in her neatest summer skirt, and as she and Harold (who has a strange gleam in his eye) head out, Edna says, with a wink at Harold, “Have fun, kids!”

    Ten minutes later, Peggy Sue comes stumbling back into the house, her skirt ripped and her beehive spilling in a sad coil down her back, shouting:

    “TWIST, mother! It’s called The TWIST!”

    By: Aaron on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 9:21 am

    Reply

  3. Here’s a funny one…

    Our two choices for President are John McCain and Barack Obama. Yeah, that makes me laugh everytime I think about it.

    By: Tyler on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 9:32 am

    Reply

  4. One evening, a woman at a check out counter places her items on the conveyor belt, a can of cat food, a frozen dinner and a gossip magazine.

    The clerk begins scanning the items then says to her, “You must be single.”

    The woman answers, “Yes. Did you guess that because of what I’m purchasing?”

    “No,” the clerk responds, “because your fucking ugly.”

    By: Sarah on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 10:13 am

    Reply

  5. Did you hear about the gay version of “Leave It To Beaver?” It’s called “Leave It, It’s Beaver.”

    By: K from PGH on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 11:13 am

    Reply

  6. A couple that’s been married 15 years are in the middle of fucking with the lights off as usual.

    The wife, who’s on top, is tired of it and leans over and flips the lamp on and looks down at her husband.

    “What the fuck, why are you wearing a strap on?”

    “The better question, my dear, is why the fuck do we have 5 children?”

    By: Katrina on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 11:17 am

    Reply

  7. Let’s see if I can tell this right:

    The new preacher is visiting his congregation. He gets to an old lady’s house, she invites him in and he sits down. While she goes to get drinks he notices a bowl of peanuts on the table and starts chowing down. By the time she gets back they’re all gone. He says: “I’m sorry, it appears I’ve eaten all your peanuts.” She says: “That’s ok, since I don’t have any teeth I just suck the chocolate off anyway.”

    Makes you go ewwwww…..

    By: Lisa on Friday, August 29, 2008
    at 8:15 pm

    Reply

  8. Why did Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So you could read her lips.

    By: Maddog on Saturday, August 30, 2008
    at 10:13 am

    Reply

  9. Three Girlfriends: ONE engaged, ONE Married, and ONE a mistress, are all chatting about their relationships… and decide to AMAZE their men… all on the same night.

    They decide that they all would wear a leather bodice (S&M style), stilettos, and a mask over their eyes.

    After a few days, the women meet back up for lunch

    The engaged woman says: “When my fiance came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4″ stilettos and a mask. He said, “You are the love of my life, I love you”… then we made love all night long.”

    The mistress stated” “Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes, and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’t say a word… we just had WILD sex all night long.”

    The Married Woman then said: “The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the evening, I got myself ready, leather bodice… super stilettos and a mask over my eyes. My husband came in, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said “Hey Batman, what’s for dinner?”

    By: Jer on Saturday, August 30, 2008
    at 2:53 pm

    Reply

  10. These are all funny! Here, I’ll tell one I’ve already told, just not here.

    A guy is driving down the freeway in the car with his girlfriend. They are having a big argument about infidelity. Behind them, a man and his 10 year old daughter are driving home from her school. They pay no special attention to the car in front of them.

    The argument in the car ahead becomes more intense, and finally, in a Lorena Bobbit moment, the girlfriend reaches over and pulls out her boyfriend’s penis, slices it off with a pocket knife and then hurls it out the window.

    The man and his daughter in the car behind this scene are discussing stopping for ice cream when the other man’s member makes a big “splat” on the windshield of the car. The father quickly puts on his windshield wipers and washes the thing off. The daughter, agape, says, “Daddy, what was that?” He replies, “Oh nothing honey, just a bug, you know there’s a lot of bugs this time of year.” The daughter pauses for a moment and says, “Sure had a big dick, didn’t it?”

    By: tornwordo on Sunday, August 31, 2008
    at 5:39 am

    Reply

  11. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two.

    By: saintseester on Sunday, August 31, 2008
    at 8:56 am

    Reply

  12. This is one of my favourites.

    Three gay guys get into an elevator. The first one notices a stain on one of the walls. He walks over, bends down, and takes a sniff. “Oh my god,” he says. “It smells like cum.”

    The second guy walks over to the wall, bends down and takes a small lick. “Oh my god,” he says. “It tastes like cum, too.”

    The third guy walks over, bends down and also takes a lick. “Oh my god,” he says. “It sure is cum, but it’s no one from this building.”

    By: fermat on Sunday, August 31, 2008
    at 2:53 pm

    Reply

  13. How do you brainwash a blonde?

    Answer: Step on her douche bag!

    By: Zacki on Monday, September 8, 2008
    at 8:11 pm

    Reply


Leave a response






Your response:

Categories