Okay, you all know my most embarrassing moment in the bedroom, but what’s the worst thing that’s happened to you while in the act? What’s the one thing you’d never want your mother to know? Or your co-workers?
Come on — don’t be shy.
You can tell me.
And don’t hold back — we’re all friends here…
I wish I had some fabulously spectacular gift to share with everyone about my sex life, but the fact is it’s very dull. I think the worst thing I’ve ever done while in the middle of it was to ask if my partner had paid the electric bill. I know, sad isn’t it.
By: Tyler on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 12:38 pm
I don’t have anything embarrassing to share, probably because I don’t have sex that often! One thing I DO remember is not being able to have sex with my then-boyfriend once because he smelled so bad. (Soap was only an occasional visitor in his house–his lack of hygiene became an “issue” eventually…)
By: Aaron on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 12:48 pm
Years ago, my dog started licking my bf’s erection. The bf thought it was me and was moaning saying things like, “Oh yeah that feels good.” Then I started laughing, and the licking was still going on. It was then that he knew that it wasn’t I.
By: Steve Rebooted on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 1:40 pm
I have no sex life at all but my happy stick still likes to play until he throws up every once in a while. While growing up I shared my bedroom with my brother. We slept in bunk beds, I was on bottom, (no that is not symbolic) and my brother was in the top bunk. One night after I thought he was asleep. I decided to make mr. happy grow unitl he threw up. All of a sudden my brother yelled, “Mom, make Ed stop shaking the bed”. I heard my mom and dad mumbling to each other and then my Mom said, “He’d better not be or I’ll whip his ass”. From then on it was only in the shower, until I got old enough to get my own place.
By: Ed on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 1:58 pm
I made a ton of promises to a guy I was trying to pick up. He was incredibly hot. I got him in my bed–the hottest guy I have ever had there. And, after I promised him the best screw he ever had–nothing! I couldn’t get it up to save my life.
He got pissy, told me I was gonna get f*cked, and did just that. So it all sort of worked out OK in the end. In the end.
By: thismomentnow on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 2:00 pm
Oh, by far, the cop knocking on the window of the station wagon, and then insisting that we stood next to the car (half undressed) while he gave us a good talking to.
By: saintseester on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 2:33 pm
It was probably the time I spilled poppers in his eyes.
Or maybe the time the cops woke us up in the camper and *blinking* asked us “what, are you guys some kind of homosexuals?” We acknowledged his suspicions and then he told us to get out of there the two of them cackling and fay-slapping each other. At 17 I learned to hate cops.
By: tornwordo on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 2:46 pm
And LOLOLOL at Steve.
By: tornwordo on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 2:47 pm
When I was relatively new to sex, I was having a one night stand (very drunk) and when he had me sit on his cock, the shock and pain of the entry made me nauseous. Before I could pry myself off his prong, I vomited on him.
Kind of a mood killer.
By: cb on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 3:25 pm
The worst thing that ever happened to my bf at the time while we were in the act… I have to give you the setting
He lived in a basement apartment, so most of his walls were that painted over the brick look. And he didn’t have a headboard, his box springs and matress were on the floor.
So first, until that time no one had ever actually said my name during sex, so it was weird. I was up on my knees, he said my name, i dropped to my stomach and turned, as he was moving forward for another thrust. He ended up slamming his head into the brick wall. It knocked him out, and I was freaking out thinking he was dead (because I was only 20 at the time). So here i am trying to wake him up and i see all this blood running from the top of his head. He wakes up a bit, I drive him too the hospital. He had a concussion, and had to have 13 stitches. Needless to say from that day forward, I made sure the wall was not in the direction your head faces.
By: Heather on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 4:14 pm
If this is a competition, I’d say Heather is in the lead at this point.
I am so hard to embarrass that all I can think of is a night where we were too drunk to actually accomplish the deed even though we gave it an excellent try. I think we gave up when he fell out of bed.
By: Sarah on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 4:54 pm
once i was getting it doggy style and my man stopped, still inserted, to pick som teepee out of my bunghole… and then continued as if that was not totally absurd.
By: randi on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 5:42 pm
Let’s see… I once gave a guy a black eye with my elbow when flipping positions. Mood killer fo sho.
Also I once thought I had eeked out some poo because it was not feeling the right kind of wet down below, turns out the lube had dripped right there but it was a REALLY tense couple of minutes when we finished and he rolled off me. I remember throwing my tank top over myself and doing several yoga positions to take a peek and make sure there wasn’t anything er wrong on the sheets.
By: Scottsdale Girl on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 7:53 pm
More frustrating than embarrassing, both then and now. I was 19, he was 18 (Thank Jeebus he was not 17!) and we were in his car. Both of us still lived at home, so no place else to go. It was dark, we drove to the back parking lot of a church that had been a nice private space in the past. We were well on our way to naked when we saw a cop cruiser pull into the parking lot. We were way back from the road, and didn’t think the cops would come that far back. Stupid us. We didn’t start scrambling to cover ourselves until the cruiser was quite close. Still not adequately covered (those jeans are hard to get on when under that kind of stress and in the front seat of a Ford Pinto) when he shone his flashlight through the window. He took both drivers’ licenses back to his cruiser. Oh, btw, the guy and I are different races. Ebony and Ivory. The cops sat in their cruiser with our licenses for what seemed like a very long time. I suspect they were saying rude things about the racial mix. (We got a lot of that back in the late 70s, early 80s) They evidently couldn’t come up with a compelling reason to arrest us, so they sent us on our way with stern warnings about tresspassing *on church property* for that kind of sinfulness. I never did get any that night. I was very frustrated. Very.
By: javabear on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 9:12 pm
I picked a guy up at the local gay bar near my hometown. He was very hot and we had been eyeing each other all night. So eventually we hook up and we go back to his place. We go up to the bedroom and start making out. I should probably mention that he was a little drunk at this point. We get undressed and get into bed. We turn out the lights and within seconds the smell of shit has filled the air. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light and he had completely shit the bed. And it was diarrhea. It was everywhere. I don’t know if he was into this, if he was drunk or even if he was embarrassed. But with the light on he jumped up and ran into the bathroom. I used the clothes he had taken off to make sure that nothing was on me and I left while he was in the bathroom I got home and showered for a VERY long time.
I never saw him in the bar again.
By: Maddog on Thursday, May 8, 2008
at 10:28 pm
After some fairly vigorous anal sex…he pulled out and my poop slid out. It was mortifying.
By: Debbie on Friday, May 9, 2008
at 8:48 am
LOL!!! I have nothing to add to this illustrious list, but I have completely enjoyed reading this.
Mark
By: Mark on Friday, May 9, 2008
at 10:33 am
When I was 17, in high school, and my bedroom was in the basement, I had a “friend” over one afternoon for some fun. We were fooling around and were in various states of undress. My mother came home and came downstairs to check on us. We didn’t have time to get dress completely, so I pulled the covers over us, up to our necks. She walked in and found us in bed. She asked why we were in bed and I said that we were cold. She gave us a funny look and left us alone.
That’s about as embarrassing as it gets for me. I’ve done a few things when I was younger, but I’m not embarrassed by them: dated my art teacher for about a year when I was still in high school, had sex with a friend’s dad (hung like a horse!), can’t remember some names of a few guys in my past, but nothing overly embarrassing.
By: fermat on Friday, May 9, 2008
at 8:44 pm
hahaha, this one i will NEVER forget – I was jerking off in the loo. It was really getting hot and awesome – then my uncle walked in. OMG. I cannot forget the look on his face! And not to forget, my embarrassment! After that, he had a L O N G talk with me about “boystuff”.
By: confessionsofaclosetcase on Thursday, September 18, 2008
at 12:04 am