I’m having one of those days where focusing is damn near impossible, so it’s time for random stuff not really worthy of full posts. Let’s dig in…

~ BLIND ITEM: Guess who called a certain gay blogger this morning? And guess who was all distant once he heard his voice, because suddenly he wasn’t sure he wanted to invest anymore time in a flaky coffee guy? And guess who was more talkative than he’d ever been before, all making with the jokes and giggling and suggesting breakfast Sunday? And guess who was all “we’ll see.” And guess who was all “well, call me — I’ll be around”? And guess who was all “take care”? Go ahead, guess…

~ Why the fuck am I not in that BIG BROTHER house this season? Seriously — someone answer me this. First, I would’ve been a great match for Joshuah (he of the tragic second “h”). Second, if ever there was a house full of crazy ass bitches needing my special brand of love, it’s this one. Sweet Jesus, it’s like a smorgasboard of whack jobs in there. And may I just congratulate everyone for fucking themselves over supremely last night by NOT evicting Matt and Natalie? Way to go guys — this game is about seizing opportunity when it presents itself and you had a perfect chance to eliminate two strong players. Dumbasses, one and all. But I do have to admit to having a wicked mad crush on Ryan. Sweet Christmas, how cute is he?

~ Now I totally called the ending to last week’s LOST a while back (tell them Zac — I totally hypothesized that the “he” Kate referred to be would be Aaron!) but what I am having a hard time figuring out is this: I am under the assumption that Kate is passing Aaron off as her biological child, sooooooo if we assume she spends roughly 6 months getting rescued, how does she pass off a 6 month baby as hers? Since she was being escorted back to the states to stand trial for murder, her obvious physical condition would’ve been in any police reports. My best guess is that by the time they get off the island a lot more than 6 months has passed in our world (which is somehow tied into the 31 minute time discrepency).

~ Special note to Tyb: to the best of my recollection, I have only featured photos of dog poop twice on this blog — here and here. The other pics were of human shit. Just wanted to clear that up.

~ I totally need to trim my beard and get my hair cut. I am teetering on the edge between “hippie” and “Ted Kaczynski.”

~ A friend — not Bruce — looked into why I was having so much trouble commenting on non-WordPress blogs and deduced that it had something to do with the firewall I installed after my hard drive went out last year. He is still messing with it, but already I am able to comment on many of my favorite blogs again (hi, Aaron!). As Mama M would say “Dirk, you could fuck up a wet dream.”

~ Mitch stopped my work station to deliver this lil gem: “What would you do if your smokehouse caught on fire? …I’d grab my meat and beat it.”

~ On Monday March 10th I’m bringing Mailbag Monday back for a test flight. If there’s a question you’re dying to ask an aging nancy boy (or if you have a blog and are just looking to get linked), type that shit up and send it to dirk.mancuso@gmail.com and include MAILBAG MONDAY in the subject line. Seeing as how I have no shame, there is no topic that is taboo and all questions will be answered. So what are you waiting for?

That’s all for today, kids.