At this point I really haven’t got clue fucking one what is going on here, so I’m just going to let you guys get your Gil Grissom on as you sift through the evidence and CSI this shit for me.
Thursday 8:57pm – Text #1:
Dirk, what’s new with you? Not much with me. Been rewatching star trek enterprise. I think the security officer is homo for sure.
Stunned to even hear from him, I didn’t reply.
Thursday 9:48pm – Text#2:
Work is a snooze, I’m enjoying the cold. Scott bakula is hot
Not sure from how (or if) to respond to any of that, I chose to not to.
Thursday 11:17pm -Text #3:
Seen any good movies? Cloverfield annoyd me. But juno is very good.
That’s when — like the simpleton I am — I responded:
Cloverfield gave me a migraine. Want to see The Kite Runner.
This was met with complete and absolute silence. Which of course led to me kicking myself for even bothering.
Then Friday afternoon, Text #4 comes in at 2:06pm:
Kite runer is excelent but a little sad but not maudlin. Go see it. Main actor is hot. Let me know what u think of the film.
And since then, nothing. My gut tells me he doesn’t know what the hell he wants, so he’s keeping me on the string as a last resort/only to be used in case of nuclear holocaust and there’s no cock for a thousand miles, but we all know smart I am when it comes to men.
Okay, gang — hit me with your most excellent deductions…
I agree with your conclusions.
My advice would be to lose his number, block his calls and any instant messaging access, and move on.
Good luck Dirk! I know that there’s a guy out there for you.
By: tigeryogiji on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 10:23 am
Yeah, don’t reply to him! He sends you three messages within two hours, then when you respond he doesn’t reply until the next day?? CG’s name has been changed to GP (Game Player) and you don’t need that! Being the ‘karma will bite you in the ass’ kind of person, I’d have to send him one last text message; something along the lines of “you send out mixed messages, and I really don’t have the time or the inclination to be a part of this game. Besides, I have a multitude of readers of my blog who think you’re certifiable and they want MUCH better for me. PS: I HATE GREEK FOOD!”
Or something like that……..
By: catrina on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 10:44 am
My gracious, he IS fractious and socially-awkward, isn’t he? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your having answered the Cloverfield text, by the way…he DID have to send four text to get a response from you, so perhaps he may (possibly?) learn that unless his conversation is interesting, you won’t hold up your end. Or else, he’s totally oblivious to the world around him and doesn’t think anyone else exists–in which case I can only pray he doesn’t drive.
If he asks you out again, just tell him “SRY I M BZZY” or whatever de-evolved language texters are using these days. Hopefully he’ll get the message.
By: Aaron on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 10:44 am
If you are still interested in some kind of relationship/friendship with him, ask him what he wants. If you’ve already decided you’re not that into him, just keep being too ‘BZZY’ to respond to him. You really don’t owe him anything.
By: Sarah on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 11:59 am
I agree with Sarah, ask him what kind of relationship he wants with you. Of course, I’m the last person who should be giving any one advice on relationships.
By: Mike on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 12:37 pm
Sending text messages while you’re watching/reading is just a way to say I’ve thought of you. Doesnt require an immediate answer (you could be doing something, not hear the alarm and only see the message the next day) or any answer.
Or sometimes a text message is just a text message. If you want to answer – go ahead. Paraphrasing my Dad – no sweat off your balls. Have anything better to do?
By: Dennis on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 1:36 pm
He obviously ain’t worth the trouble. Move on.
By: BW on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 2:09 pm
Haha. You even a looser like him don’t want you.
By: Brooke on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 2:30 pm
I hate to use this word but he’s a twat.
By: randi on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 2:31 pm
Maybe you’re being too hard on him.
Perhaps he just reads really……
really…….
really…….
SLLLLOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLYYYYY……….
Yeah, probably not so much. But optimism has it’s occasional place too, ya know.
By: Ima Schitt-Heade on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 3:02 pm
I think you need to heed your readers’ opinions seriously; the overwhelming majority so far is suggesting that you MOVE ON!
The two of of are obviously operating on two different wavelengths. CG sounds a lot more shallow than you. Not “bad”, just not someone you really relate to. I know the type. It never works!
By: Cameron on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 3:29 pm
Ok, do me this one favor, pleaseeeeeeee. Send him a text and say “hey, whats up with the random texts? are you interested in dating or not”. What have you got to lose?
By: Chrissy on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 3:41 pm
So many good pieces of advice here. I really liked catrina’s, but then Chrissy’s was good and Dennis’ too. Plus all the “stop this nonsense” crowd make a good point. Gah, I’m no help. Good luck sir.
By: tornwordo on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 4:51 pm
With my untraveled road I shouldn’t give relationship advice but that never stopped me before. I think he wants you for a platonic friend only, nothing more. He seems to have other friends he goes to the movies with. He is not the type to go see the Kite Runner alone. I’m tempted to advice you to text him back and say, “Thanks for the advice, my boif and I can’t wait to see the Kite Runner.” But that would be uncouth and Jesus Lord of all we wouldn’t want to mislead the fucker.
By: Ed on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 5:22 pm
…but Scott Bakula IS hot!
By: Keith on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 5:55 pm
Maybe his 11:17pm text message was the last thing he did before going to bed, so when you responded he didn’t see it until the next day.
If I were in your shoes I would want some clarity, and feel it is completely valid to ask for it. Send him a text message and ask “Are you interested in dating, or just doing stuff as friends?” Perhaps not right away, but I think eventually he will respond to that and you’ll finally know where he is.
Mark
By: Mark on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 7:07 pm
ok, after thinking about all of his responses and texts and so forth I have come to my CSI conclusion that at some point during the trek of meeting, dating, eating, shopping, etc., he switched his mind frame from potential spouse to friend/buddy.
I think he now just wants to keep testing the waters to see how friendly/buddy-like he can be and how open you are to it.
That is the reason for the off-hand, weird-ass texts for no apparent reason. And would explain why all these “dates” that you beat yourself up about are followed by a text from him. He doesn’t look at em as dates, he just thinks you are two friends getting together to eat and go to best buy.
The friend zone has captured many a gay man, hell even str8 guys are not immune as women have many guys in the friend zone.
By: Tyler on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 7:47 pm
I think Tyler is right on, I mean some times when you meet some one you think “I really have a lot in common with this person” only to find out as time goes on your not even from the same planet. Maybe just having a friend to hang out with once and a while isn’t a bad thing..even tho you already have friends for that.
By: Heather on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 8:21 pm
Time to be blunt, baby. Ask him what he wants. Does he want to date and MAYBE have a relationship or does he just want a friend to hang with. That way you know what to expect and don’t have to keep driving yourself nuts. Then the ball is in your court. You get to decide what you want.
Go for it. What the fuck do you have to lose for Crissakes.
By: Tawnya on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 8:39 pm
Dirk, normally I’m perfectly capable of following your Dennis Miller-esque allusions, but I’m bumfuzzled by this Gus Grissom reference. What the fuck, exactly, does a 40-years-dead (almost to the day, btw) astronaut have to do with cockteasing txtrs?
As for the dude, fuck him. Fuck him right in the ear. Metaphorically speaking.
By: Paul on Monday, January 28, 2008
at 10:58 pm
Character on the original CSI – last name is Grissom but dont think his first name is Gus.
Dirk says: …my bad, it’s GIL Grissom. I always get the dead astronaut and stilted one note character played by William Peterson confused for some reason.
By: Dennis on Tuesday, January 29, 2008
at 1:19 am
Virgil “Gus” Grissom the astronaut is from a small town near where I live. A state park has a nice memorial to him. It has his space suit and a capsule that one can climb into. He is a local hero and died doing what he loved.
By: Ed on Tuesday, January 29, 2008
at 8:03 am
If he’s going to the movies with other people, I’d say he isn’t interested in dating.
Go see The Kite Runner. I love, love, loved it!
By: Gavin on Tuesday, January 29, 2008
at 9:51 am