Hydroglyphic
(Hi-DRO-gliff-ick)
noun
A three dimensional photograph developed by the ancient Egyptians as a way of preventing those damn Vikings from committing credit card fraud.
“I have to show you my new credit card — it’s got dolphins and when you turn it…they move! It’s one of those hydroglyphic things…”
Hydroglyphic is the perfect word to describe Melina, she is all wet. I hope her dog doesn’t get Hirophobia.
If CG hasn’t contacted you since the awkward moment, he is probably embaressed too. Send him a text message and pretend all is well. “Say, CG, are we still on for breakfast this Saturday?” I’m sure he will be relieved that you haven’t kissed him off. What’s the worst that could happen? Either he’ll text you back with a, “sure thing Dirk” or he may ignore you but at least then you’ll know.
Dirk says: …in regards to Coffee Guy, methinks that ship has sailed, Ed. He’s not going to call, and neither am I. Better to be thought an awkward stalker-y schmuck than pick up the phone and have all doubt removed.
By: Ed on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 4:57 am
I second Ed…you’ll just fret until you contact him. Get ‘er done! (Sorry to use hackneyed slang on that one.)
“HYDROglyphic?” Was Melina’s credit card design made of a water-color? Considering the source, I’d bet on either that or finger paints. Or maybe crayons.
Dirk says: …see my comment to Ed above.
By: Aaron on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 8:52 am
Well, let’s see..hydro -water, she’s got a dolphin on the card, soooo, yeah it’s a stretch but almost.
By: Jer on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 9:06 am
If CG doesn’t try to contact you over an awkward kiss at the door after an evening of dinner and a movie and homemade creme brulee then he is a fool indeed.
By: Ed on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 11:43 am
Oh yes, I’ve heard of those!
I used to work with a guy with a nack for combining two similar-sounding words into one. At one point I made a list of them. If I can find it I’ll post them to my blog for your reading pleasure.
And I agree with Ed and Aaron that you need to text CG. How can you feel its better NOT to know for sure?
Mark
Dirk says: …Mark, I always feel better NOT knowing when people think I am a colossal dumbass. That aside, he’s incredibly smart and too good looking for me. Some people are meant to be single — I’m one of them.
By: Mark on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 11:50 am
DIRK! Texting or calling someone a few days after a date is NOT stalking!! It would be different if you did it constantly throughout the day, but not when you wait a few days! Make ONE text/call–just ONE. Then you can consider that you’ve put the ball in his court.
Dirk says: …yeah — I don’t think so. I screwed up, Aaron. I’m good at accepting my mistakes and moving on.
By: Aaron on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 12:25 pm
Okay, I’ll say it again, you youngsters are very hard headed but here goes: Dirk, you are not perfect and CG is not perfect. One mistake does not a reason to break up make. He’s kicking himself and your beating yourself up over nothing. If your going to give up after every mistake you will always be alone. You’re smarter than that. This is the perfect time of year for this to happen. Send him a Christmas card. Say Merry Christmas CG(use real or pet name here)then add, call me and a row of XOXOXO’s across the bottom. Then if he doesn’t send you a card it’s his loss. Give it a try, That New Years Kiss is coming up fast and you don’t want to be alone, Just Do It!
By: Ed on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 2:29 pm
OMG, you two need a thirteen year old girl to act as a go between.
What if CG is spazzing out because he gave you this lame ass hug and then didn’t react fast enough to catch your kiss and now he thinks you think he’s a total dumbass and too good looking and too smart to be his boyfriend and is so convinced it’s true that he decides to never call you?
Life is so much more interesting when you take a risk.
Dirk says: …I can pretty much guarantee you that he isn’t spazzing whatsoever. And I never did see the appeal of risks — that’s how you end up with paper cuts. Or a really bad man-perm.
By: Sarah on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 3:02 pm
“Faint heart never won fair lady”
I’m just sayin’…
Dirk says: …I wasn’t trying to win a lady, yogi…you did understand that, right?
By: tigeryogiji on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 3:26 pm
All excellent suggestions re: CG…
Here are two others: Get your best girlfriend to ask his best girlfriend if just likes you or if he likes you,likes you…or just pass him a note in study hall…
Dirk says: …um, no.
By: The Other Dirk on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 7:00 pm
Dirk, just go about your life Coffee Guy-less and chalk it up to past experience. If you are comfortable being single for now, then that’s what you should do. I think everybody likes romance, but sometimes life is about more or other things than romance.
By: Java on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 8:51 pm
I agree with Java, but that’s easy to say when you’re not in that boat. “Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” You have loved, or a least a really big like, and things didn’t work. Coffee guy was a bit too dense to notice the subtle and the subtle-as-a-lead-pipe advances. So, off to greener pastures.
By: fermat on Friday, December 14, 2007
at 8:59 pm