Saturday marked the return of the texting marvel, Coffee Guy:
happy thanksgiving! i’m home de-stressing. you have to come see my christmas tree.
Being completely special needs when it comes to men, I left that one there floating in the ether while I tried to come up with something clever and witty to say in regards to seeing his tree. That something never materialized.
Last night, this showed up in my mailbox:
there’s a new greek restaurant on setterfield. hint, hint
Great — greek food. Ugh.
But I like this guy pretty-good-okay-fine so I texted back:
Hey, Coffee Guy — I heard there’s this new Greek restaurant on Setterfield…maybe you’d like to check it out some time.
I awoke this morning to his reply:
a new greek restaurant? cool! but “sometime” is very non-specific
Sick of the thumb typing back and forth, I sent a final message telling him I would be calling this evening to arrange a time and day. (Notice I didn’t say “date” — I have no idea if that would be the proper term.) So it looks as though I will be dining on goat meat and grape leaves or some such shit either this week or next and may I just say that if there’s anything I “love” more than feet, it’s greek food. I’m not sure if I ever posted about it, but Michael took me to a greek restaurant once and there wasn’t one fucking thing on the menu that wasn’t made with lamb or didn’t look like baby shit, so I just ate the bread and Michael was pissed and yelled at me. (And don’t even get me started on that flaming cheese shit — I tried a bite of that and they need to rename it sole of shoe flambe.) But I digress…
You guys worked your magic with the Thai suggestions (i.e., no seared asshole the day after), so I’m calling upon you once more for suggestions on what I might order. Remember, I like chicken, turkey, and…chicken and turkey, and I don’t like things that are not recognizable because they have been beaten into a fucking paste and stuffed into a grape leaf and served in half light to disguise their innate disgustingness.
So hit me with those suggestions, already…
Most greek places have greek style chicken–it’s chicken that’s roasted with lemon and oregano and it’s pretty good. Pastichio is also really good–it’s sort of like lasagna, but it’s greek (I think it’s layered with tomato sauce, though). Also, I think it’s made with regular ground beef.
By: Aaron on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:24 pm
Get chicken souvlaki. it’s just amrinated chicken wrapped in a tortilla like bread, with lettuce, tomatoes and a dressing (and maybe onions).
By: Tony on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:34 pm
ps also the roasted potatoes are usually nice
By: Tony on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:35 pm
I was just going to say, every Greek restaurant I’ve been to has some sort of chicken on the menu. This link might help you out.
http://www.eatgreektonight.com/recipes.cfm
By: Jer on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:37 pm
Outside of Baklava, Greek food gags me (and not in the good way!) Good luck, you’ll need it Hon…
By: tigeryogiji on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:45 pm
So you call him coffee guy when texting him. I know that is so we won’t find out his real name and steal him away from you. He is beginning to sound like a keeper.
I used to be co-worker and buddy with a little Greek guy. He had a great sense of humor. He woould bring in Greek food for us to try. Then laugh and say that has Squid in it or Octopus. He did make a great Gyro and a fricasse of lamb to die for. Still hear are a few suggestions to help you make it through the meal with out barfing. The Chicken Manestra is good. Briam is an ensemble of baked chopped vegetables. Chicken Keftedes is chicken patties with herbs. Kota Psiti is Roasted chicken with potatoes. For dessert you must try the Baklava not only is it expected it is a treat fit for royalty. I think it is his turn to treat but who’s keeping score?
By: Ed on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 1:56 pm
Offer me either lamb or venison and I will go running and screaming from the building!
By: Lemuel on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 2:04 pm
Many Greek restaurants have “Italian” style food as well–but from one comment above, perhaps you don’t like that either? The “it has tomato” thru me.
I have always loved Greek Lasagna and Chicken is Chicken where ever you go…Greek salad with a big old hunk of Feta Cheese is awesome too.
Good luck!
By: Lurker Girl on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 2:09 pm
I’m not a fan of the Greek entree so I stick with the apps menu at Greek restaurants. You can find a lot of pasta on the menus these days. Good luck. Do you think this will be the dinner where you find out if you are dating or not?
By: Sarah on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 2:18 pm
Seems to me it’s time to put this new association to the test by being honest that you don’t like Greek food, and would prefer eating with Coffee Guy somewhere else.
By: Cameron on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 2:46 pm
Tell Coffee Guy you prefer something else! Hell, I’d go to Mickey D’s before I’d eat lamb! Don’t let him set the pace of this kinda-sorta relationship. Text him and tell him your ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes.’ Then talk about food! HA!
By: catrina on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 3:40 pm
Oh as an aside, I noticed the Kite Runner on your sidebar, FABULOUS book. If you’ve not read A Thousand Splendid Suns by the same author, you should.
By: Jer on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 3:46 pm
Maybe they will have kabobs. Can’t go wrong with chicken, onions and peppers on a stick. Sides of rice with a salad, and you’re good to go.
By: Gavin on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 3:56 pm
I’m a vegetarian, and I can eat Greek…so I KNOW you can find SOMETHIN’ to eat, lol!
Greek Salad, Dolmades, Spanakopita, Moussaka, etc…
But, piece of advice, stay AWAY from the Retsina wine…EWWWW — tastes like pine resin!
By: BML on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 5:05 pm
There is nothing “impromptu” about shish-kabob. Just so you know.
Aren’t you the one who brought up the idea of Greek? It’d be sorta strange to suggest it then say you don’t like Greek.
By: Java on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 8:22 pm
Dirk, I’m not a fan of Greek food either. There are olives in everything and I HATE olives, so I have no suggestions for you. Hope all has been well. I’ve been without my computer for the past month and so I’m a little behind with what’s been up with you. Hope all has been well. Maddog
By: Maddog on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 11:30 pm
Saganaki, tiropita, spankopita are all great but you wont like them (first is the flaming cheese). Mousaka is eggplant, pastitio is like mac&cheese. All greek places have chicken. Dont drink retsina but white wine from Cornith is good.
By: Dennis on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
at 11:56 pm
I love Greek food but understand its not for everyone. As others have said, there will definitely be chicken dishes on the menu so pick one of those. (You can probably ask them to omit an offending ingredient you don’t like.) Or if you’re not in the mood for chicken anything, try Spanikopita, or spinach pie. Its spinach baked inside a tender, flaky filo pastry.
Come on, be a ‘big boy’ and try something new! Enjoy the date – er, I mean, dinner.
Mark
By: Mark on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 12:10 am
I’m pretty sure that he just wants to go out with you, which is why he sent the “hint” text about the Greek eatery. Just tell him that you really don’t like Greek food, and have an alternate restaurant suggestion ready. No use going out with somebody you’re interested in only to have a rotten time due to the menu.
By: Dawn on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 2:04 am
Stay away from the hummus….ewwwwwwwww
But me loves me a Greek God with a big hammer you kno where…and the hairy bods……:)……………………………………………………………..**CRASH** – oops I fell outta my chair…have fun Dirk
By: The Bartender on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 8:02 am
I went to a Greek place once for a company Xmas party and I remember the salads they had were pretty good. Tomato and cucumber salad and one other kind. I suspect you’ll be able to find something decent.
By: suzy on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 10:23 am
[...] more than a tad bit confused by the words of his would-be beau Okay, so you know all about the texting business yesterday and how I told Coffee Guy that I was going to call him, blah blah [...]
By: Chapter 19: In which our hero is more than a tad bit confused by the words of his would-be beau « Too Disgusting to Contemplate, Too Compelling to Ignore on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 10:31 am
Most Greek places also have a great soup called Avgolemeno. It’s a chicken stock base, with small pieces of chicken, rice and flavored with lemon…delicious!
By: The Other Dirk on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 12:52 pm
Yuck. I’m with you. I even think Baklava is horrid. And that’s a dessert. I like that garlic cucumber sauce, what’s it called, oh yes, Tzatziki. A salad and some pita bread with the sauce.
By: tornwordo on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 1:40 pm
Chicken gyros are delicious.
I hate baklava too!
Greek diners with cute Greek servers are an important element in a happy life. Get thee to the diner!
By: jalishouse on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
at 4:03 pm
[...] the audition early enough, I am going to give Coffee Guy a call and see if he wants to hit that Greek restaurant and get that torture out of the way. And I would like it noted that I am more than a bit dismayed [...]
By: Inside the mind of an addled fag « Too Disgusting to Contemplate, Too Compelling to Ignore on Thursday, November 29, 2007
at 11:00 am
[...] and would instead prefer to eat at — are you fucking ready for this bullshit? — “this new Greek place on Setterfield” that he heard about at work yesterday. And as if that little blast from the past weren’t [...]
By: I’m really trying to keep an open mind about this, but geez… « Too Disgusting to Contemplate, Too Compelling to Ignore on Thursday, January 24, 2008
at 8:44 am