Oh, how AS THE WORLD TURNS-esque the workplace can be! Miss a day, you miss a lot.

And so whilst I am preparing part 2 of the San Francisco recap, allow me to bring you all up to date at the latest goings on in the workplace:

~ Hannah has taken out a restraining order against her minister husband. Something about cops and guns and him not being allowed to get anything out of their home until she leaves this Friday. It was hard to tell with all the sobbing and hitched breaths. That and my general lack of interest in life amongst the Jesus freaks.

~ 3 police officers entered yesterday and asked me if I knew Jimmy Lee. Being the good citizen I am, I smiled broadly and pointed him out. Roughly 30 seconds later, the dumbass was being led out in cuffs (and not in the good way). Seems he was hunting without a license and tagging or whatever it’s called, which is a HUGE conservational no-no and punishable by jail time.

~ Ava made a delicious edible strawberry/jello/cream cheese and cool whip with a pretzel crust dessert and brought it in for my birthday. The fact that my birthday is in May seemed to have escaped her…as did the idea to actually crush the pretzels before pouring the shit on top of them. But I choked a piece down just to hear a heart warming Christmas story

~ Kuh-rith-dee’s 12 year old daughter spent 9 days with her 19 year old boyfriend and didn’t come home when told to which resulted in the young man of dubious character being arrested for “whatever-ing” with a minor and his momma joining him in the pokey for telling the girl she didn’t have to go home if she didn’t want to. Most people were aghast as Kuh-rith-dee told this tale (mostly because who lets their pre-teen daughter stay with a grown man for over a week without ever once attempting to drag her disobedient ass home with a brief stop at the chastity store on the way?), but I couldn’t help thinking how ENDLESS LOVE it all seemed. Except Brooke Shields wouldn’t play the pierced one’s daughter — Harvey Fierstein would. And he wouldn’t need to shave.

~ And in the grand tradition of saving the best for last…Melina took part in the yearly Halloween dress-up day. Her costume? Glad you asked. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a pic of the pic without a shitload of glare, but maybe you can figure it out from her self scribed description — if you speak Melina-ese, that is: