And on the seventh day, Dirk chatted. And it was gooooooooooooood…

Canine Cruiser: Whassup?
Dirk Mancuso: hey. how are you?
CC: Horny
DM: gotcha
CC: Age? 49 here
DM: 40
CC: I’m playing bitch to my great dane tonight.
DM: you have sex with your dog?
CC: Duh. He is my lover
DM: i see
CC: I let my male dog mount me as if I was a bitch so that he can get some release.
DM: besides being sort of fucked up on a lot of levels, doesn’t that hurt?
CC: No. Only once he’s in, he expands inside my rectum. It’s called dog knotting.
DM: ouch
CC: The human rectum can accomodate a lot.
DM: methinks that breaks a commandment or something — state and local laws at a minimum…
CC: Oh God, it feels so great. Plus, he leaves a quarter cup of cum behind after he shrinks down and pulls out.
DM: is he like most men and is done in 30 seconds?
CC: It takes him about 20 or 30 minutes for his knot to go down.
DM: and how’d you start this?
CC: Trained him from a puppy.
DM: no, i mean how’d you get started with dogs?
CC: My uncle and I were drunk and he dared me to let his greyhound fuck me
DM: so your family is cool with it. awesome possum. do you have a boyfriend?
CC: Not right now.
DM: wondered what he thought about the dog thing. what do the guys you’ve dated think about it?
CC: It’s not something you talk about on the first date.
DM: i guess not. so how does one of your doggie dates go? you just whistle and he knows he’s about to get some tail?
CC: When he sees me on the floor crawling around butt ass naked, he knows what to do.
DM: and you would have me believe that shit doesn’t hurt when he is trying to get in you?
CC: I’m not stupid. I make sure I’m well lubed so he slides right in.
DM: so just like with a guy?
CC: Yes. Exactly the same.
DM: you should write a musical…”guys and dogs”
CC: ??? I should get going. He is giving me the look like he wants it.
DM: guess you better go assume the position then, ya sick puppy fucker
CC: I don’t fuck him, he fucks me.
DM: oooooooooh! thanks for the clarification — that makes all the difference in the world.

The internet: making your world a little scarier every day.