Okay kids, this week I watched something I wanted to see in the theater but missed: TRANSAMERICA and all I have to say is Felicity Huffman was fucking robbed of the Oscar. Yeah, the movie has its flaws but goddamn, members of the Academy, all Reese Witherspoon did was dye her hair and do the same thing she does in every movie: be cute and perky. And before the hate mail floods in, I’m not slamming the Witherspoon-er…I like her a lot and I loved LEGALLY BLONDE but let’s face it, folks, she’s not a real “actress” actress. I saw half of WALK THE LINE and that performance just hurt. A lot.

I mean seriously, June Carter was homely. Home. Lee. And Reese just came in looking all pretty as ya please with the little southern accent and flouncy skirts. I mean what the fuck? Suffer for your craft a little, bitch. Charlize Theron is a beautiful woman and she skankified her ass up something fierce to win the Oscar for MONSTER. No lie…she scared my ass so bad, I grabbed my rape whistle from under my shirt and blew it every time she looked at the camera. That, my dear Reese, is acting.

And that is what Felicity Huffman did in this movie. While not a ravishing beauty, she does have her quirky charms and I’ll be damned if she didn’t throw pride to the wind and just go for it. She wasn’t afraid to be muey unattractive or look like forty miles of hard road. No sirree Bob…she was all about earning her paycheck, not coasting on the good will of playing a dead woman. Reese, you are cute and charming and adorable as a newborn kitten but honey, you haven’t got the acting chops of fucking Big Bird. At least not compared to one Ms. Felicity Huffman.

Goddamn, I wish the Oscars had do-overs.
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A special post-script to all you lurkers: Did you not understand yesterday’s post? It is a guessing game, folks. That means it is a game where you post your guess via comments. So get to it and vote…I don’t post this shit for my health. And if I don’t see some active participation, I may not post the answers tomorrow either. See how a few can ruin it for the whole group? Yes, I am talking to you, Anna, IL and you, Redondo Beach, CA. And you can quit snickering over there, Silver Spring, MD. Keep it up and I will turn this whole blog around and we’ll all go home.